So today life decided to say "fuck you" yet again.

So I'm sitting here, after half an hour of crying my eyes out, wearing nothing but my cupcake lingerie and my handcuff necklace. Today was supposed to be great. I'd get out of the house, I'd get pizza, I'd hang out with my Otaku friends and not sit around all day depressed and thinking about my situation ith DJ, right?

WRONG. DJ showed up at MOOGLE. Completely ignored my existence. But had no problem wearing one of the t-shirts I just got him. Which kind of further solidifies my friends' opinions that he just used me for obtaining whatever he wanted. Because if he's not friends with me anymore, why accept things from me? And why wear them to an event he knows I'm going to be at? Unless it's giving me a big middle finger, which is what it is. It's a huge "Fuck you, Jess, I'm going to hurt you even more!":which is quite petty and childish. But that's basically him in a nutshell anyway.

So I started texting my friends so they could just help me NOT walk out and just wander around crying (which I do when I have anxiety attacks, which I was SUPER close to having). They told me to ignore him and let him be the big baby that he's being. Other than that, they just said sorry, there's really nothing I could do. Luckily Kalissa got there and kept me company (I don't know if she realizes this, but she was what kept me from completely breaking down) as I ate my pizza and socialized with the rest of the Otaku.

CREEPERS STILL WUZ CREEPIN' THOUGH.

There's this guy named Brad Turrin who started creepin' up on me on facebook, always commenting "hot" and stuff on my pictures. Not even in a classy, complimentary way; in a complete douchebag way. Well, I rejected his attentions. He then started texting me (he must have gotten my number off my facebook page) and I didn't respond and deleted him off my friends list. He continued to creep, so I blocked him. Then he started texting me again ( I had deleted his number at this point) and I got kiiinda nervous about it (when a girl says back off, or ignores you even, back the fuck off, nigga, and find someone else) and told Cole about it. So he texted that guy and told him to stop texting me, and creeper goes, "She's the one who gave me her number."

What. the. FUCK. So anyway. He leaves me alone, until TODAY. He texts me as I leave for the MOOGLE meeting and then I see him walking with my friend Imani. I figured seeing him and actually speaking to him at this point was inevitable, so I decided to attempt friendly terms. I didn't have money to actually buy pizza, so he bought me one. He also bought Imani one, too, so I didn't really think that much of it. Then he started texting me as we were sitting at the table (the flirtatious type of texting) and then he asks me out again. I tell him no. I guess that did it for him, because he became really offended and started being a complete asshole. He demanded me pay him back for the pizza. I told him I'd text him when I get the money (if I don't have money or a job right now, what makes him think I can magically make money appear? just sayin', broski!) and he goes, "You'll actually text me, because usually you won't even respond to my texts." I was getting very annoyed with his attitude, so I go, "If I don't want to respond to your texts or associate with you, I'm not going to," to which he got even more annoyed. I said, "Look, I'll text you." Then he disappeared for awhile and tried to avoid me the ret of the night other than shooting me rather vicious and sulky looks. I ignored him. I had by then gotten rather depressed over DJ being a dickwipe and had receded into my own little turtle shell.

Then the group decides to go out to Perkins after we leave the MOOGLE meeting. Again, completely ignored. Tried to make plans for me and Destiny to spend the night at Kalissa's, but scheduling conflicts and rides caused the idea to frazzle out. But watching DJ do shoots of creamer was amusing. I half wanted him to vomit from it because he was being a doucher and the other half of me was worried about him getting sick. Then he concocted a mixture of milkshakes, creamer, and God knows what else, and drank that. By then, though, my anxiety (mixed with a huge very chocolaty milkshake) had caused me to grow nauseous and I went to the bathroom and vomited. DJ didn't seem to care, which of course made me feel even more ill.

The big "fuck you" of the night was as he was leaving (he and David had to leave early to go to the store and buy ramen and stuff for their house) he hugged and said good-bye to every single person at the table, except me. Made a point to NOT say good-bye to me or even acknowledge me. Which led to me very silently crying. Kalissa noticed, gave me a big hug, and then I went to the bathroom and had a huge, vomity weep there. I ripped off my toilet paper necklace (the piece of smiley poop that goes along with it I gave to DJ; I figured he'd appreciate it, figured he could go around saying "I'm the shit" or something, which is totally what he'd do) and threw it on the ground, only to say, "Oh, fuck!" and retrieve the toilet paper part, as the chain part was broken for good. I cried, wiped off my runny make-up and went back out to the table. We left a few mniutes later.

I am now drinking some more of my delicious iced tea (with a hint of Captain Morgan, as I had a bit hidden under my bed) and I actually kind of have to pee. So I'm just going to stop here, as I don't really know what else to say. Am I insulted? Not really. Hurt? Very very very much so. Tired? Yes, and have a bit of a headache, which I've had since my big cry at Perkins. I took an ibuprofen, but it only worked for a little while. More than anything, I'm disappointed in DJ, as he's one of the people I never expected to treat me like this. And I may have been naive and quite frankly even stupid for believing this, but I actually thought he was a better person than this. I did.

That's all for now, folks.